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Sunday 29 September 2013

Achieving

Last week was hard. I had gone way beyond my physical and mental limits for a month or so without resting. Last week nearly saw me burn. I could feel it and it scared me.

Pacing has become a real challenge, and is probably the hardest thing for me. I was always active, a do-er, and when I had the idea to do something, I did it. Not only was I physically active, but mentally as well. So I began to wonder about being driven, about achievement, about "getting things done" against simply "doing".

I fall into the first half of the equation and it wasn't until I was talking with a friend recently that I fully realised how much of an "achiever" I am. I don't particularly like the word, it smacks of "performance" and "competition", two other words I don't like :-) , but it opened my eyes a little more to me, again.

Constantly "achieving" means I've got tons to do, and it also means I'll never get to do it all. In my case I believe it contributed to acquiring CFS. And it's not only me, there are lots of other people like me. So what do I/we do? As challenging as it may seem, we MUST pace. There's no other way with CFS. I get sooooooo restless and frustrated though!!! I love doing stuff! Resting, and pacing activities really is necessary however. Last week I had no choice. I did rested. This week, I'm pacing and resting.

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